


s.o.s

by ziamcx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad Zayn, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamcx/pseuds/ziamcx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>zayn didn't think he was all that great, but liam did.<br/>-<br/>just a story in which two beautiful people fell in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

_one ➵ zayn's part ➵_

 

 

when zayn was two, his papa would throw him up in the air and catch him. smiling and going on and on about how zayn would grow up and be nice and strong.

when zayn was four, his papa tried teaching him football. of course, zayn fell a lot, but his papa was proud and played with zayn everyday.

when zayn was eight, he told his papa he didn't want to play football anymore. he told his papa that he wanted to join the  _art club._

when zayn was ten, his mama left. left zayn and his papa for another guy named daniel. but papa promised that they didn't need a mama, that all zayn needed was his papa.

when zayn was eleven, his papa said that only girls liked drama and art. his papa, who he trusted with all his heart, grabbed zayns frail wrist tight, making zayn cry out.

zayn was also eleven when he met liam.

 

liam was nice, really nice. and he had these soft brown eyes that reminded zayn of puppies. liam always let zayn spend the night whenever his papa was being mean. but zayn never told liam about how his papa sometimes hit him, or pushed him. he figured some things were best left as secrets. zayn was just happy to have liam. zayn was what most would consider a loner in school. even at the age of eleven, zayn knew he didn't fit in. he would sit alone at recess and lunch, just reading or drawing. and every day, liam sat next to zayn. liam didn't like to read, but he still watched. zayn had never felt so happy except when liam was around. it was like liam made zayns bruises and cuts go away, made him forget about his papa who was at home. even at age eleven, zayn knew that liam was the one person that made him feel wanted.

 


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters get longer, i promise

_two ➵ liam's part ➵_

 

 

liam was four when they moved houses for the first time. he was small and naive, so he didn't really understand why they were moving. he was excited though, ready for adventure.

 

liam was six when he made his first friend in school. his name was louis and he was so funny. they constantly had sleepovers and play dates. liam was the happiest kid in the world.

 

liam was 11 (11 1/2 to be exact) when his mumma told him they were moving to a new city. don't tell anyone, but liam cried- a lot. he told louis and louis cried too. he didn't want to leave louis! louis was his forever best friend and now they would be almost four hours apart. louis'

liam was 12 on moving day. he gave louis the biggest hug ever and whispered that he would miss him. louis' mum promised that they would still see eachother and on birthdays they could have sleepoevers.

so with that, liam and his family packed into the moving van and left louis watching the truck drive off.

 

liam also met zayn when he was 12.

liam was playing outside, helping his dad hang the tire swing on the large oak tree in his new front yard.

zayn had these big golden eyes that liam _really_ liked. he was also extremely shy, but liam didn't mind. liam liked to sit with zayn on zayn's wrap around front porch and watch zayn read. zayn read everything (and he means  _everything)_ and watching zayn so focused on something made liam really appreciate zayn's beauty.

liam like to hold zayn whenever they had sleepovers. zayn cried a lot and liam didn't know what to do besides hold him. so hugs and cuddles were liam's specialty.

zayn wasn't very open to liam, but liam also didn't pry into zayn's life. he knew zayn's papa wasn't very nice, but that was it.

all liam really knew was that zayn was beautiful and that he sure was glad he moved.

 

 

\---

****


	3. three

_three_ _➵ (zayn age 14, liam age 15)_ ➵

 

zayn walked down the school hallway, head lowered and books pressed against his chest. he had just started highschool and was already failing at being social. liam had promised that he would find zayn after first period, but liam was no where to be found.

zayn glanced around, noticing how the halls were starting to clear. he realized he had no idea where his next class was. as he heard the warning bell he started to panic. pulling down his sleeves  _(nervous habit)_  he fled to the nearest bathroom and set his books on the counter top.

zayn looked at himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath. he knew he couldn't let himself panic. one tardy to class wasn't that bad, right? and it was the first day of school. he pulled out a map and looked at it for his next class.

as he reviewed the map, he realized that there was no room 1-847. zayn started to freak then.

he whimpered to himself, grabbing his bags and hoping to find a teacher to ask. he walked out as the last bell rang and looked around. he walked quickly around the school until he realized he was lost and there was no one in the hallway to help him.

 _what a great way to start highschool,_  zayn thought to himself.

 

-

 

liam was walking to the bathrooms, thinking about zayn. he felt bad about leaving him but by the time he had gotten to his second period, the bell had rang and he remembered that he forgot zayn! he just hoped and prayed that zayn found his way around the school easily.

"liam!"

liam looked up to see zayn. his face dropped and he ran to zayn quickly.

"why aren't you in class?" liam questioned, looking zayn up and down to make sure he was alright (liam always felt protective over zayn, maybe because he knew zayn didn't have a dad to make sure he was alright).

"i-i got lost." zayn whispered, "where were you? i looked for you.."

liam sighed softly, "i'm so sorry, zayn. i didn't mean to leave you. what class is your next one? i can walk you now."

zayn shrugged, handing liam his schedule. zayn stared at his feet while liam read over the map and schedule. liam finally grabbed zayn's hand and started walking with him towards zayns next class. liam walked as close as possible to zayn, smiling at his friend. a lot of his friends said that liam was "too gay" with zayn. liam would just laugh with them and ignore it because liam wasn't gay, he just liked zayn a lot. as a friend. just friend. not gay.

"alright, well here's your class, zaynie." liam said softly, looking at zayn.

zayn shrugged, biting his lip. "thanks, liam. i-i'll see you after second?"

liam nodded, "of course." he promised.

zayn put his hand on the door handle and walked into the art room after liam said goodbye once more. the teacher smiled at him and promised that it was okay that he was late as long as it didn't happen again. he sat down in a corner seat, and looked up at the board. 

 

_maybe high school won't be so bad. especially if i have liam._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest, i don't know how ao3 works, haha. but im learning! im also on wattpad!  
> thanks for reading


	4. four

_four ➵_

 

the first week of school had passed quickly. zayn was proud ithat he had made it through the week, only getting lost twice. most everyone at the high school paid no attention to zayn, which was how zayn liked it. unlike junior high, the freshman, were left alone. sophomores, juniors, and seniors could care less about anyone but their friends. zayn liked the fact that he was ignored (sometimes it was embarrasing though, like when they did partner activities) because it meant that he wasn't being bullied and he was able to just sit and read.

the only time zayn didn't mind being alone was when he was with liam. liam was hilarious and even though zayn hated his laugh, he didn't mind laughing along with liam. everyday at lunch liam would sit with zayn in the courtyard, under the shade of the big weeping willow. zayn would stare at liam like he was god while liam would do things like help zayn with homework or tell him about a funny show he watched that night.

junior high wasn't a pleasure for zayn, especially after liam left to go to high school (zayn had dreaded liam moving schools a year before him ever since he started junior high). no one was nice to him. zayn was bullied a lot and didn't know how to deal with all the pain he felt, so he simply skipped classes.

but high school, high school was fairly nice. the campus was giant and the classes were confusing, but zayn would take that over being punched or pushed anyday.

-

zayn and liam were currently sitting at liam's house in his kitchen, eating ice cream. zayn  _loved_ liam's house. his parents were kind and liam's dog, rocco, was really nice. he didn't like going home to his papa who would pat his back way too hard and grab his arm a little too tightly. zayn was scared of his papa, scared of being yelled at for liking art and not football, scared that his papa would be drunk again.

"can you spend the night?" liam asked, finishing his bowl of ice cream and taking it to the sink.

zayn nodded, "probably." he said quietly. "i need to go ask dad.."

"i'll go with you." liam suggested. he watched as zayn set his bowl in the sink, cringing when the glass made a loud sound against another dish.

zayn and liam walked as close as possible to eachother as they walked across the street to zayn's house. zayn held the door for liam before walking in, shutting the door behind himself.

"dad?" zayn called, "liam's here!"

zayn always said that liam was with him when he was. his papa was nicer when someone was with zayn. he felt as though liam was his protector. zayn often wondered if it was wrong to think of your guy bestfriend as a protector, but the thought went away almost as soon as it came up.

zayn's father walked downstairs, clearly tipsy. he nodded a greeting at liam before staring zayn up and down. zayn swallowed hard, pulling his shirt sleeves down before wrapping his arms around himself. he hated how his father would study him like that- it made zayn feel ugly.

"what d'you want?" zayn's father asked, siting down at the couch.

"i-i, er, l-liam wanted me to spend the night?" zayn whispered, glancing up at father quickly then looking back at his tattered shoes.

liam brushed his hand agaisnt zayn's; a small movement that zayn's father didn't notice, but zayn did. it made zayn feel more comfortable and safe.

"could he please, sir?" liam asked again, "my mother already said it was alright."

zayn's father grunted before nodding. zayn bit his lip to fight back a smile and led liam upstairs quickly so he could pack a bag to take.

liam sat on zayn's bed as zayn rushed around his room to find clothes to pack. zayn opened a drawer beside his bed, pulling out a phone cord and then leaving it open as he went to shove the charger into his bag.

liam looked over in the drawer and his eyes widen at what he saw. four razor blades taken apart from a shaving razor, the broken razor beside them. he looked at zayn and then back at the blades.

"zayn..?" liam said quietly, taking his eyes off of the razor.

zayn hummed in response, zipping up his back pack. "yeah?"

"what's this?" liam pointed to the broken razor and blades.

zayn walked over and peaked into the drawer. his heart stopped for a second. he had forgotten about those. "o-oh, it's not what you think it is."

liam raised an eyebrow.  _not what i think it is?_  he thought. then what is it?!

"i read about dealing with stress and i-i came across this thing about using them and-" zayn was cut off by liam.

"you didn't cut yourself did you zayn!" liam questioned, his heart starting to race. how could zayn ever hurt himself?

"no, no!" zayn's eyes widen, "no, i promise, i didn't! i was too scared." he admitted.

liam let out a deep breath, "promise?"

"promise." zayn said truthfully, "you can even take them and throw them away if you don't believe me."

"i believe you, zee. but i'm still gonna throw them away." liam nodded, picking up the broken razor. zayn nodded back in agreement and pulled liam into a hug.

"i would never." zayn whispered.

"i know, zee, i know." liam responded giving his friend a quick hug back. "let's just go to my house and we can make dinner and watch movies, yeah?"

"yeah." zayn agreed, smiling softly.

 _thank god liam didn't question me anymore about those blades_ , zayn said to himself.

 


	5. Chapter 5

_five ➵_

 

 

liam and zayn walked back across the road to liam's house, liam carrying zayns bag, because it was 'something friends to do'.

once at liam's house, the pair walked into liam's bedroom and sat down together on the bed.

zayn sighed contently, leaning back to look at the ceiling.

"i had mum make your favorite for dinner." liam told zayn as he laid back with him.

zayn smiled, "thanks, li."

liam smiled back. seeing zayn smile, a real smile, always made liam's day better.

dinner went by quickly. zayn always enjoyed eating with liam's family because he never had this quality family time with his actual "family". it was normally just him and his dad eating in the living room. or zayn's father would go out with friends and zayn would be left to eat cereal or toast. but dinner at the payne's house was nice. freshly cooked meals and dessert, not to mention liam's mum always asked how everyone's day was.

zayn wished he had a complete family like liam. he wished he had a mum and a sister or brother, and a nicer father who actually cared.

zayn and liam helped clean the dishes after they ate (they had pasta and bread ((the really good warm, buttery kind)) just like liam said, it was zayns favorite). liam's mother thanks the two and kissed liam goodnight, to which he protested saying he was too old for kisses.

but zayn accepted his hug he was given. he loved the love that liam's mum gave him, it was something he never truly got to experience.

-

late that night, zayn and liam had put away the video games and their phones to lay in bed. they faced each other, legs tangled, and eyes locked.

"thanks for having me over, liam." zayn whispered.

liam was so, so kind to him. he felt as though he didn't deserve it, but greatly accepted liam's kindness.

"of course, zee" liam smiled sleepily, "you're my best friend."

zayn shrugged softly, smiling back at liam. "you know how you saw those razors earlier?"

liam's face dropped, he didn't want to bring the subject back up again, but nodded anyway.

"erm, well i did  _try."_  zayn mumbled, looking away from liam. he felt liam tense and quickly continued, "but it hurt too much. it didn't even leave a mark."

liam stared at zayn, not truly believing him.

"i promise." zayn whispered, "i just read about how it supposedly helps and i tried and it hurt an made me feel worse. i meant to throw it away, but i just never did."

liam sighed, "i believe you, zayn. lets just drop this and go to bed, yeah?"

zayn nodded, curling into liam's side. liam gratefully pulled zayn into his arms (remember,  _not_  gay) and close his eyes.

"night, liam love you." zayn

whispered.

"love you too, zee."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short, when i first wrote this, my laptop was broken- sorry!


	6. Chapter 6

six ➵ 

liam and zayn spent the next day together in liam's front yard. zayn would sit on the tire swing, swaying back and forth while liam laid across the branch that held the swing up. (zayn may or may not have been too scared to climb the tree).

"it's so pretty out today. im glad we can spend it together." zayn said softly, looking up at liam.   
liam smiled back and nodded in agreement. "i wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else." 

zayn blushed a bit at that and faced the ground quickly. he hated how easily he blushed around liam, he felt so vulnerable, yet so safe at the same time. it was a strange thing that zayn didn't quite understand. although he followed enough tumblr blogs and read enough stories to know that that's how you act around a crush. but he didn't have a crush on liam. liam was just his best friend.   
"why don't you ever hang out with your other friends, li?" zayn asked. 

liam just shrugged, "i see them all the time at school, and i never see you. so you deserve to see me on the weekends."   
plus, liam thought, you're way more fun and prettier to look at than my other friends.

"why aren't you ever with your other friends?" liam decided to ask, just curious as to why. 

zayn shrugged softly, "i don't have anyone but you, li." he whispered.

liam sighed quietly and left it at that.

-

hours later liam had climbed down the tree to join zayn in the grass, laying facing the sky.

they laughed together as they pointed out clouds shaped like puppies and whales and shoes. zayn looked over at liam and smiled happily.  
"i'm happiest with you, liam. thanks for being my friend." 

liam smiled back at zayn, not sure what to say, as zayn's smile seemed to make him at a loss for words. 

"liam!" a rough voice shouted, making liam and zayn both sit up. at the end of liam's driveway was felix, the captain of the football team and one of liam's friends.  
zayn immediately looked down, feeling nervous. 

"want to come with me and the team to the lake? we're having a party." felix asked, walking over to liam. he spoke as if zayn wasn't there, as if zayn didn't want to do anything fun at the lake.  
liam looked to zayn. a lake party did sound fun, but he didn't want to ditch zayn. 

"could zayn come?" liam suggested, looking at felix. felix shrugged and sighed.  
"if he wants, i guess." he muttered, "just be there by 3pm?"

liam smiled and nodded. "I'll see you then!"  
and with that, felix walked away, leaving zayn staring at liam.

"liam!" zayn scolded, "i can,t swim, you know that!"   
"it'd be fun to just go and hang out." liam promised, "please come with? i want you to have fun too!"

zayn sighed, shaking his head. "only because you're my friend."   
liam broke out into a smile and tugged zayn inside so they could change into swim trunks.

-

at the lake, the while footy team was there and it made zayn nervous. he was scared that liam would leave him for one of his better friends.

"let's go get something to drink." liam suggested, pulling zayn to where the drinks were.

zayn let liam pour him a soda and watched at liam started talking to felix and some guy who zayn didn't know.   
zayn was starting to feel left out as liam continued on and on about football. he leaned against the side of the drink table and folded his arms. zayn just wanted to go home and read, not be here at a place that he had no business being at.

eventually, liam turned to zayn and smiled. 

"want to come sit at the end of the dock with me?" liam asked.  
zayn nodded and followed as they walked down the dock and then sat with their feet dangling over the edge.

"it's really pretty." zayn muttered. he looked over the lake and how the sun and clouds reflected off the water. he thought about what a pretty drawing it would make and if only he had his sketchbook. 

"yeah it is." liam agreed, leaning back on his hands and looking up into the sky. "im glad you came with me."

before zayn could answer, he felt strong arms pushing his back, pushing him into the water. he panicked as he tried to swim to the top.   
now, zayn wasn't stupid. he had read books where someone gets pushed into water and stupidly flails around and ends up dying or whatever. he knew to stay calm and just try to swim, unfortunately, you seem to forget all logic when you're in danger yourself. so of course, zayn ended up swallowing a shit load of water.

luckily, in his struggle to reach the surface, he felt someone wrap there arms around his waist. 

zayn gasped for air as he surfaced, attempting to tread water. liam guided zayn to the bank, making sure he was okay.  
"god, they're pricks." liam said after he looked zayn over and made sure he was alive and stuff. 

zayn felt himself tearing up, his emotions getting the best of him.

"y-yeah." he whispered. as the adrenaline wore off, he saw the group of boys laughing and walking away, leaving liam and zayn alone. zayn couldn't control it as he started to cry.  
liam's face fell, trying to comfort zayn e mumbled a 'lets go home' and took his best friends hand.

zayn nodded and took liams hand, still sobbing quietly. 

liam lead a soaking wet and crying zayn home, where they changed and pulled warm clothes on and cuddled the rest of the night, forgetting about the mean boys. 

\-----


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 is so confusing still, so sorry if anything is weird looking or stuff like that?? also sorry i haven't been updating

seven ➵ 

liam must've apologized a thousand times over what had happened at the lake. zayn would mumble 'its okay' and curl up into liam more.

liam lent zayn his sweatshirt that he got from football and a pair of fuzzy, purple pajama pants (which if you asked liam, he would deny that they were his).   
"they're such dicks." liam whispered as he looked down at zayn. zayn looked awfully adorable all cuddled into liam, hoodie pulled over his head, brown eyes staring into liam's.   
zayn shrugged his shoulders softly as he nodded in agreement. 

"it's okay though, because i had you to help me." zayn whispered. he felt his cheeks heating up and he looked down, "i really wanted to just float, but i got scared. and the water was so dark."  
liam sighed before resting his chin on zayn's head. they sat in a comfortable silence, liam holding zayn. the more liam thought about zayn the more he realized how much he cared for his best friend. zayn was one in a million and liam was beyond grateful that he was able to be a part of zayn's life. and, not to be conceited, but liam was sure zayn was glad liam was a part of his life too.  
zayn pulled away to look up at liam sadly, "it's getting late, li."  
liam looked over at his bedside clock.

7:06pm

"yeah, and it's a school might. i guess i should walk you home?" liam asked, sitting up and pulling zayn with him.  
zayn nodded, tugging the sleeves of his (or liam's, rather) hoodie down on his arms, the nervous habit making its way into zayn's everyday life.   
the pair stood up and liam helped gather zayn's things before they walked down. liam told zayn he could keep the hoodie and pajama pants. zayn felt himself blush a bit, thanking liam and saying that he should borrow some of his own things some time.  
zayn said goodbye to liam's (amazing) mother, who gave him a kiss on the head before sending the two out to take zayn home. 

-

they stood on zayn's porch, zayn holding his bag and liam touching zayn's arm in a friendly gesture.

"I'll see you tomorrow, zayn." liam smiled, "in the front of the school before first bell?"

zayn bit his lip, smiling slightly, "that sounds great. thanks for letting me spend the night."

liam muttered a "anytime" before gingerly reaching forward and kissing zayn on the cheek. and as cliche as it seems, liam's lips burned, a good burn, afterward. his and zayn's face heated up, blushing bright red before liam waved goodbye and ran back to his house across the street.

zayn put his hand to his cheek, smiling softly before walking inside his home.

-

inside, zayn's father was sitting on the sofa. he looked up at zayn and his expression immediately turned into displeasure. he was furious at what zayn was wearing- purple fuckin.g pants!? 

zayn crossed his arms over his stomach at seeing his fathers harsh glare. "i-i'll be in my room, papa..i-if you need me.."

his father huffed and stood up, walking to zayn.

"the f.uck are you wearing?" he demanded.  
zayn looked down at his outfit and bit his lip, pulling his sleeves down. "liam let me borrow some random clothes."

"purple? zayn? really?!" his father scoffed, "it's bad enough that you like art and not sports, but how you're wearing girls clothes? and what's that?" he pointed to the football sweatshirt, which read the schools name and liam's last name and number. 

"i-it's liam's ." zayn whispered, not looking up to face his fathers angry eyes.  
"you're wearing his clothing?" his father almost laughed, "you're so gay, zayn! can't you be normal? normal guys don't wear other guys gay clothing. stop being a faggot or you'll just have to stop being allowed to be with liam."

zayn nodded, not wanting to argue. he was embarrassed about wearing liam's hoodie and his cheek still burned where liam had kissed him. he ran to his room quickly, not bothering to change before crawling into his bed.

thinking back to what his father said, about being gay because of his likes and wearing liam's clothes, he thought that maybe he wasn't gay. maybe it was liam. liam was the one who kissed zayn's cheek, and liam let zayn borrow his clothes.

zayn quickly scolded himself, he couldn't blame liam for this. even if liam was gay, he would still love him the same. but, would liam love him if he was gay? zayn pushed the thought out of his mind. he was not gay. he couldn't be. 

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> zayn malik & liam payne
> 
> lowercase intended   
> (this story is published on wattpad also, but if you see it any where else, please let me know!)


End file.
